Category: Media

Jake Tapper: CNN is still the most trusted name in news

ATLANTA – Chief CNN Correspondent Jake Tapper insists that CNN is still the most trusted name in news despite the latest controversy concerning the network’s coverage of the Mueller investigation.

“I don’t believe the ratings.  I see CNN more commonly on televisions when I’m in a waiting room or an airport than any other network.  People love us.  We are rock stars and our paychecks prove that regardless of what the stupid Trump supporters think,” said Tapper in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

Related tweet:

(image credit nrkbeta [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Don Lemon audio: ‘Hating white people is not racist’

ATLANTA – Leaked audio obtained by Mendaco Press appears to be the voice of CNN news anchor Don Lemon on a diatribe concerning white people.

“Hating white people is not racist… they deserve to be hated… it is only a justifiable reaction to centuries of oppression they have caused… they will pay for their sins… (inaudible) …our plan is already working… we are making sure that their guilt hangs on their necks until they are shamed into submission… the future of America is brown… not white,” said the voice in the leaked audio which appears to be the voice of Lemon.

Experts are currently examining the recording for authenticity.

Related video:

Related tweet:

(image credit Neon Tommy [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Exclusive: Fox News to cancel Tucker Carlson Tonight

NEW YORK CITY – A leaked Fox News memo obtained by Mendaco Press reveals the future fate of the popular show Tucker Carlson Tonight hosted by political commentator Tucker Carlson in wake of the controversy surrounding the exposure of Carlson’s past ‘toxic’ behavior.

“We wanted to stand by Tucker but the pressure from our sponsors has been overwhelming.  The politically correct minority is winning this culture war.  Tucker will be missed by all of us here at the network.  This is a sad day for free speech,” said the leaked memo.

Rival networks cheered the news of the show’s cancellation seeing it as a victory in their effort to silence ‘far-right’ voices in the media.

Related tweet:

(image credit Gage Skidmore, Peoria, AZ, US [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Alex Jones ‘saw God’ while in Joe Rogan’s deprivation tank

LOS ANGELES – Alex Jones, radio show host and conspiracy theorist, appeared on the popular Joe Rogan Experience podcast on Wednesday for a lengthy interview.  After the podcast, Jones was offered to use Rogan’s sensory deprivation tank located in the studio.  Upon leaving the tank, Jones claims that he ‘saw God’.

“Everything makes sense to me now.  It’s all crystal clear.  I saw the face of God, and he told me everything.  Now I know why the globalists have been trying to shut me up.  I have been given the answers.  I will be sharing this with the world very soon,” said Jones in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

Last year Jones had been banned from many social media platforms for promoting his controversial conspiracy theories.

(image source Sean P. Anderson, Dallas, TX, USA [CC BY 2.0])

CNN offers Michael Cohen multi-million dollar book deal

ATLANTA – Michael Cohen, former attorney for President Trump, has been offered a multi-million dollar book deal from CNN sources say.

“We are excited to announce Michael Cohen’s acceptance of our book deal.  It is sure to be a bestseller.  The network is looking forward to this future partnership.  We believe Mr. Cohen shares our standard of ethics,” said CNN spokesperson to Mendaco Press.

On November 29, 2018, Cohen pleaded guilty to lying to the Senate Intelligence Committee and House Intelligence Committee in 2017.

Related tweet:

(image credit IowaPolitics.com [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Tucker Carlson to return to wearing bowties

NEW YORK CITY – Political commentator Tucker Carlson, host of the nightly political talk show Tucker Carlson Tonight on Fox News, will soon be returning to his former favorite attire:  the bowtie

“If you wear a bow tie, it’s like a middle finger around your neck; you’re just inviting scorn and ridicule.  The number of people screaming the F-word at me… it wore me down after a while so I gave in and became conventional.  After all these years, I really miss my bowties.  It takes me back to a simpler time, before all of the insanity.  We’ll see how people respond to it.  Honestly, I could care less what people think.  I’m going to wear what I want,” said Carlson in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

Carlson was known for wearing bowties up until 2006.

(image credit (left) Gage Skidmore, Peoria, AZ, US [CC BY-SA 2.0])

(image credit (right) Trei Brundrett, McLean, VA, US [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Brian Stelter attacked by two masked midgets in NYC

NEW YORK CITY – Brian Stelter, chief media correspondent for CNN and host of the CNN show Reliable Sources, was attacked earlier today by two masked midgets on the streets in New York City.

“They shouted ‘This is midget country!’ while they beat me and stepped on my toes.  I was stunned.  This was obviously a hate crime targeted against tall people,” said Stelter to a local affiliate.

Stelter checked himself into a hospital and is in good condition.  The NYPD is currently investigating the incident.

(image credit nrkbeta [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Reza Aslan to perform cannibal ritual to ‘curse Covington teens’

LOS ANGELES – Reza Aslan, Iranian-American author and television host, plans to perform a cannibalistic ritual in order to ‘put a curse on the teens from Covington Catholic High School’ involved with the incident in Washington D.C. earlier this month.

“I hate these kids.  I hate them with my whole heart.  I will make them suffer.  I am organizing a ritual to summon the most powerful demons from the spirit world in order to curse these children.  To do this requires me to consume a fresh human heart.  I am currently making the arrangements for the ritual.  They will pay,” said Aslan in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

Aslan televised a cannibalistic ritual in the CNN documentary series called ‘Believer’ which premiered in March 2017.  On June 9, 2017, CNN announced that it has “decided to not move forward with production” on Aslan’s Believer series after his profane anti-Trump tweets were widely criticized earlier in the week.

Related tweets:

(image credit Rodrigo Fernández [CC BY-SA 4.0])

Joe Rogan: What is Tim Pool hiding under his beanie?

LOS ANGELES – Joe Rogan, comedian and host of the popular podcast The Joe Rogan Experience, was wondering what many of us have been wondering:  What is Tim Pool hiding under his beanie?

“Joe had just come out of his sensory deprivation tank that we have here in the studio.  He quickly walked over to me as I was editing video.  He was really high at the time.  With his eyes wide open and staring at me he said, “What is Tim Pool hiding under his beanie?  That’s all I could think about the whole time I was in the tank!”  We both started laughing and began contemplating.  Was it a scar? a tattoo? is he bald?  After thinking about it, we both came to the consensus that it was likely his ‘brand’.  Joe said, “Tim is a super smart guy.  I can totally see him using it to establish his brand.” I agreed with him,” said Jamie Vernon, producer of the podcast, in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

Tim Pool is a popular YouTuber and political commentator.  He is best known for livestreaming the Occupy Wall Street protests in 2011.

Joe Rogan’s isolation tank hallucination story:

(image credit Tord Litleskare / Nordiske Mediedager [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Mark Dice blatantly admits to recruiting Russian Bots

SAN DIEGO – Mark Dice, popular YouTube political analyst, blatantly admits to recruiting Russian Bots to help the Trump campaign in several of his videos on his YouTube channel.

“We must do something about these Russian bots before we lose the opportunity to fundamentally transform America.  We cannot let these persuasive influences hinder our progressive agenda,” said Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) to Mendaco Press.

Dice not only admits to recruiting Russian Bots, he sells merchandise to them:

Mark Dice Shirt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dice has authored many books including his bestseller The True Story of Fake News: How Mainstream Media Manipulates Millions.

The True Story of Fake News - Mark Dice