Tag: Robert Mueller

Keith Olbermann demands a Military Coup to topple Trump

NEW YORK CITY – Sports commentator Keith Olbermann, in response to the outcome of the Mueller Report, is demanding a military coup d’état to take the Presidency away from Donald Trump and give it to Hillary Clinton.

“It was her turn but the Russians stole it from her.  In fact, the entire U.S. government has been taken over by Vladimir Putin.  There is only one option left.  The military must use its power to take control of the federal government and install Hillary Clinton as President.  This is the only way we will be able to advance our progressive agenda,” said Olbermann from his secret bomb shelter during an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

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(image credit The Resistance with Keith Olbermann)

John Lewis: We are impeaching his ‘orange ass’ regardless

ATLANTA – Civil rights leader Rep. John Lewis (D-GA) asserts that he is ‘hell bent’ on impeaching President Trump regardless of the Mueller Report outcome.

“I don’t give a damn what the Mueller Reports says.  Trump is going down.  We didn’t invest millions into this investigation just to leave empty handed.  Regardless of the evidence, we are going to impeach his orange ass,” said Lewis in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

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(image credit LBJ Library, Emily Clack [CC BY 2.0])

Adam Schiff: Mueller is a Russian Agent

WASHINGTON – House Intelligence Committee Chairman Rep. Adam Schiff believes that Special counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation has been compromised stating that he believes Mueller is a Russian Agent.

“I believe Mueller is a Russian Agent who is taking orders directly from Putin.  There’s no other way to explain the outcome of the report.  I have no facts to support this claim.  I just feel it in my bones.  After you’ve watched as many James Bond movies as I have, you’d come to the same conclusion,” said Schiff in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

U.S. Attorney General William Barr, who received the report from Mueller on Friday, told lawmakers that a summary of the report would be available soon.

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(image credit Voice of America [Public Domain])

Hillary to enter race if Mueller Report fizzles

WASHINGTON – Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has decided to enter the 2020 Presidential race if the Mueller Report fails to disrupt the Trump Presidency.

“If Mueller doesn’t stop Trump, I will.  It’s my turn.  Everyone knows that I deserve to be President including the DNC.  With their help, I will easily become the Democratic candidate and defeat Trump.  The Russians can’t save him this time,” said Clinton in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

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(image credit Lorie Shaull [CC BY-SA 2.0])

Exclusive: Mueller investigation finds ‘smoking gun’

WASHINGTON – The Mueller Investigation, Special Counsel investigation into the Russian government’s efforts to interfere in the 2016 presidential election, claims to have found a ‘smoking gun’.

“We noticed something very suspicious at the entrance of the parking garage on D Street near the US Navy Memorial Plaza late Wednesday.  We found laying on the ground between two parked cars what appeared to be a 9mm handgun… and it was smoking,” said one of the investigators on the Special Counsel in an exclusive interview with Mendaco Press.

It was later reported by local law enforcement that the evidence was related to a robbery of a convenience store in the area.  It appears to be unrelated to the investigation.

President Trump has highlighted statements by the chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee that its investigation has found no collusion between Russia and the Trump campaign even as the panel’s top Democrat said that assessment is premature.

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(image credit Pete Souza [Public domain])